Mind. Body. Soul. One collective for your whole life.
Mind. Body. Soul. One collective for your whole life.
This year for the holidays, I have been spending a lot of time thinking about relationships and our interactions with other people in our lives. The holidays often conjure up tense emotions and thoughts about family members and friends. Rather than looking forward to spending time with those we love, we often spend time re-hashing old fights and salting old wounds. How to deal.
Recently, I had a client ask me: Have you ever had a client that achieves all their goals and is just living the dream and happy?
She wanted me to say
Yes! I have made her life a dream. I can solve
ALL of your problems too, I promise. I can make you happy. I can make your life
happy.
But that wasn’t the truth. There is no happy ending. There is no happily ever after.
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the word “normal.” What is normal? Why do we care? Who decides what is normal?
Why do people refuse to acknowledge when they don’t know something?
Because they are trying to manipulate you.
Hear me out.
Why do we often reach for a glass of wine or another piece of cake when we are feeling stressed or had a bad day? Why is it so ingrained in our culture that having a glass of wine at the end of the day is how to best find relief from the day’s stress?
I started pursuing meditation as a means to find more peace in my work and home life. As any overachiever personality would do, I downloaded three meditation timers and ordered 10 meditation books and manuals. I wasn’t just going to meditate; I was going to be the BEST meditator. (Move over, Siddhartha.)
So many of our day-to-day problems and stressors all boil down to one nasty little word: SHOULD. I should be nicer to my spouse. I should answer my phone when my brother calls. My boss should be more appreciative of me. My husband should take out the trash. My parents should respect my approach to parenting. I am willing to wager that if each of us could cut that nasty word out of our lives and changed nothing else, we would be markedly happier.
Where do these “shoulds” come from?
For better or worse, most days spent in corporate legal practice start off with good intentions and big plans about all the things we will accomplish that day. Then the train derails and we spend most of the day “putting out fires” and ignoring all of those best laid plans. While some of this may be the result of real client emergencies, more often than not, there is no real emergency.
In the end, it all comes down to our thoughts and how we interpret the situations and the people in our lives. However, it doesn’t hurt to have a little science behind that awareness and appreciate the fact that we all have different personality tendencies that will drive our behaviors.
Lately, I have been spending a lot of time focusing on the notion that life is supposed to be rough, 50% of the time. It brings to my mind the ancient Yin Yang symbol. The Yin Yang can be interpreted, literally to mean “shady side” and “sunny side” and stands for the idea that two opposite dualities create the balanced whole.
What does this mean in our modern lives?