We can always choose to live with those negative perceptions and interpretations of our life. But the power there comes from our choosing to feel negatively about those experiences and to think negatively about those experiences.
Snap Out of It
In the complicated world of practicing law, many of my clients are playing a role in what Stephen Karpman calls the “drama triangle.” I often see my clients vacillating between the victim role and the rescuer. How to move out of drama and into empowerment.
Standing In Your Own Way
In order to create the life of our dreams, we have to be open to the possibility that what we have been believing all along is not necessarily true. It’s just our opinion. In other words, we cannot shift any beliefs until we find ourselves in a place where we can see the old beliefs as what they are — not facts and clearly not places we choose to our energy. Only from there can we shift our energy to something new and start creating something new.
How Uncertainty Can Change Your Life
Certainty is the enemy of growth.
In order to progress, scientists (and the rest of us) had to let go of our closely held beliefs and be open to the possibility that those old beliefs weren’t serving us. One of the hallmarks of good science is constantly challenging our prior conclusions — to never truly be “fixed” in any given certainty. To grow, we have to constantly question our beliefs about ourselves, others, and our reality. That is how we evolve.
Being On Call 24/7
Every time we answer late night phone calls and emails, we are expressing our values not only to ourselves but those around us. In that expression, others will learn to anticipate where they fall on your hierarchy of values. If they are at the top, they will keep coming at you 24/7. How to deal.
“Yes” Women
Finding yourself overworked and overwhelmed? Saying “yes” when you want to scream “no”? Why do we do this to ourselves and how do we stop the madness?!
Over-Apologizers Anonymous
Over apologizing is often the easy route. It’s easier to take on all the blame than it is to stand up for yourself. It’s easier to believe that it was all your fault than to examine the things you did right. This victim mentality is pervasive and can seep into all aspects of your life if left unchecked.
So why do we over apologize?
Career Changes
At some point in your career, you may find yourself wondering if it is time for a career change. Many of my clients grapple with the notion of leaving their current career path in favor of another. When evaluating whether to make a career change, there is only one question to consider.
Excuses
Whether we admit it or not, we all make excuses from time to time. Lately, I have been seeing so many more excuses founded in the pandemic. It’s easy to blame the pandemic for our weight gain, bad habits, and not taking action. It’s easy to buy into these statements and carry them with us as our justifications for not taking action. But the pandemic is not to blame for your inaction. None of your excuses are factual. They are simply opinions; opinions that are keeping you from living the life you really want.
Managing Overwhelm
One of the primary reasons that my clients struggle is that they often feel like their life is out of control. We want to believe that we don’t have any control. We want to believe that work overload just happens to us and we have no role to play in it.
But that is only true if you decide to make it true.